In the news this week is Corona, Corona, and Extra Corona. Man why are people so alcoholic these days??? Extra Corona, more like bottle dehydrated-pee.
Anyways shifting focus away from the virus, I got news for you lot, concerning Jay Park- who fun fact tells me that his favorite part of the day use to be 2PM- being bish slap by Brian Ortega at the only festival NOT cancel due to Cornavirus- the UFC 248- last Sunday. Apparently this has a long story behind with the gist being: Jay Park was friends with a UFC fighter named Jung Chan Sung (a.k.a Korean Zooombie) who was set to fight said Brian Ortega. Failing to grasp the english language at a mastery level, Jay Park decided to help his friend Korean Zombies by engaging and translating the Zombie “smack talk”. You know that whole publicity affair where -before a fight- two fighters hype it up by calling each other “pussies” and/or “my hands are in love with your face. It wants to kiss your face”. This whole smack talk trading happen like a couple of months ago with Jay Park translating (supposedly) word for word on what Korean Zombie said and let’s just say Brian Ortega wasn’t particularly please that there was a C in this A and B conversation. He told Jay Park basically that “don’t let me see you or else you gonna catch these hands” over tweet. Now since this happen a couple of months ago, so I guess Jay Park kind of forgot the whole thing about him needing to hide in a cave now or maybe because Jay Park was running away from Corona in South Korea (CURSE YOU CORONA THE VIRUSSSSS) but he accidentally let Brian Ortega “see” him on the 8th of March. Brian, waiting for the Zombie to take his pee break, went up to Zombie camp and asked Jay Park “yo asian dude, you Jay Park” and when Jay Park said “Aye aye captain”, Brian proceeded to give him a good ass slap.
Park told me Ortega went up to him while Korean Zombie went to the bathroom and asked if he was Jay Park. Park said yes and, according to Park, Ortega slapped open palm slapped him.
— Ariel Helwani (@arielhelwani) March 8, 2020
Mr. Park what are you doing???? Come on! Why did you have to confirmed your identity. Man if some dude coming out of the cut looks like he’s about to slap me and ask “Hey you, you coolguy1234?” I would be like “Me? Oh no I’m lameguy1234 close friend with coolguy1234 need me to take a message??? Ah I see you want to slap his face?? AH I will tell him that cause you know he’s NOT HERE RIGHT NOW”. Like yeah Mr. Park he probably knew your face but come on, play to your strengths!! Just say “No I’m not Jay Park” Brian will be like “Buh?” and then you be like “I get that alot, you know I think it’s because we look alike. We are asians after all” and then Brian will be utterly confuse and then forget the whole thing and probably turn apologetic saying shiz like “oh I’m so sorry” and trying to prove that he’s not a racist white person. At least it has worked for me all these years when a white person wants to slap me.
Of course KPop fans took twitter calling him a hater and calling Brian out for his “unsportmanslike conduct” (which it was). Apparently these were also lawyer Kpop fans coming out urging Jay Park to sued in which Jay reply in a tweet.
Nah i dont sue ppl who have less than i do https://t.co/HlwnBIffgj
— JAY BUM PARK (@JAYBUMAOM) March 8, 2020
Mr. Park are you really sure about that?? You are talking about a UFC fighter man. Literally as I remember a fight a couple of years ago involving Floyd vs. Manny, it was 99 dollars to see the fucking fight that lasted one damn minute. You know its a boogie ass industry when it’s 99 dollars per minute. It’s like when you go to Six Flags and you be like “please sir I would like the yellow ride band” and they are like “99 bucks” and you are like “for how many rides” and they said “No ride. 99 bucks to get your height measured by our employee at any rides!”. Also the reply could have been so much colder man, Mr. Park you sound like a guy that was just robbed of his lunch money and then telling his friends “I like to give to the needy” while sporting a black eye. Bro…. Mr. Park you could have been like “Brian, that move that you just did on me, has a next to 0 percent fatality rate. For my revenge move, although it is not strong, it is an Asian move that is world renown to have at least a 2-3.5% fatality rate. Although small chance, it is 100000000000% deadlier than yours” then Mr. Ortega will be like “oh yeah what???? HUH HUH, what is this deadly move of yours” and all you have to do is walk up to him cough in his face and whisper to him “I have been feeling a bit…..feverish this morning” and then walk away. Bro that SICK ASS MOVE WOULD HAVE KO MR. ORTEGA FOR 14 DAYS!!!
Although, of course, it’s certainly not deserved, it is totally expected. Like I’m sorry, it’s UFC fighters… Like come on, it’s those guys that literally slam people on the fiery tables in the name of fun.
If Mr. Jay Park didn’t expect to be slap for translating articles, he was most definite engaging in wisthful thinking. I’m ACTUALLY surprise that he only got slap once.
Brian Ortega has since apologize for his misconduct, which is properly for show more than anything. At first he was like “yeah I’m sorry to Jay Park the translator, Jay Park the musician, not Jay Park the bitch boy OOOOHO DAB DAB DAB DAB” but then he deleted that sorry and properly apologize for his actions, saying if he slapped anyone it should have been the Korean Zombie instead. On Jay Park’s friend part, The Korean Zombie actually called out Brian Ortega on instagram saying “I will end you next time I see you” but apparently as of late, the three had indulge in some forgiveness.
Jay Park also released a comment on instagram, where he was kind of a prick about it, rapping about how he was the only rapper to be slap and still come up with a W, which is…….. Ok can we all agree Brian gets a free slap card now?
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