In the news this week is Corona, Corona, and Extra Corona. Man why are people so alcoholic these days??? Extra Corona, more like bottle dehydrated-pee.
Anyways shifting focus away from the virus, I got news for you lot, concerning Jay Park- who fun fact tells me that his favorite part of the day use to be 2PM- being bish slap by Brian Ortega at the only festival NOT cancel due to Cornavirus- the UFC 248- last Sunday. Apparently this has a long story behind with the gist being: Jay Park was friends with a UFC fighter named Jung Chan Sung (a.k.a Korean Zooombie) who was set to fight said Brian Ortega. Failing to grasp the english language at a mastery level, Jay Park decided to help his friend Korean Zombies by engaging and translating the Zombie “smack talk”. You know that whole publicity affair where -before a fight- two fighters hype it up by calling each other “pussies” and/or “my hands are in love with your face. It wants to kiss your face”. This whole smack talk trading happen like a couple of months ago with Jay Park translating (supposedly) word for word on what Korean Zombie said and let’s just say Brian Ortega wasn’t particularly please that there was a C in this A and B conversation. He told Jay Park basically that “don’t let me see you or else you gonna catch these hands” over tweet. Now since this happen a couple of months ago, so I guess Jay Park kind of forgot the whole thing about him needing to hide in a cave now or maybe because Jay Park was running away from Corona in South Korea (CURSE YOU CORONA THE VIRUSSSSS) but he accidentally let Brian Ortega “see” him on the 8th of March. Brian, waiting for the Zombie to take his pee break, went up to Zombie camp and asked Jay Park “yo asian dude, you Jay Park” and when Jay Park said “Aye aye captain”, Brian proceeded to give him a good ass slap.
Park told me Ortega went up to him while Korean Zombie went to the bathroom and asked if he was Jay Park. Park said yes and, according to Park, Ortega slapped open palm slapped him.
— Ariel Helwani (@arielhelwani) March 8, 2020
Mr. Park what are you doing???? Come on! Why did you have to confirmed your identity. Man if some dude coming out of the cut looks like he’s about to slap me and ask “Hey you, you coolguy1234?” I would be like “Me? Oh no I’m lameguy1234 close friend with coolguy1234 need me to take a message??? Ah I see you want to slap his face?? AH I will tell him that cause you know he’s NOT HERE RIGHT NOW”. Like yeah Mr. Park he probably knew your face but come on, play to your strengths!! Just say “No I’m not Jay Park” Brian will be like “Buh?” and then you be like “I get that alot, you know I think it’s because we look alike. We are asians after all” and then Brian will be utterly confuse and then forget the whole thing and probably turn apologetic saying shiz like “oh I’m so sorry” and trying to prove that he’s not a racist white person. At least it has worked for me all these years when a white person wants to slap me.
Of course KPop fans took twitter calling him a hater and calling Brian out for his “unsportmanslike conduct” (which it was). Apparently these were also lawyer Kpop fans coming out urging Jay Park to sued in which Jay reply in a tweet.
Nah i dont sue ppl who have less than i do https://t.co/HlwnBIffgj
— JAY BUM PARK (@JAYBUMAOM) March 8, 2020
Mr. Park are you really sure about that?? You are talking about a UFC fighter man. Literally as I remember a fight a couple of years ago involving Floyd vs. Manny, it was 99 dollars to see the fucking fight that lasted one damn minute. You know its a boogie ass industry when it’s 99 dollars per minute. It’s like when you go to Six Flags and you be like “please sir I would like the yellow ride band” and they are like “99 bucks” and you are like “for how many rides” and they said “No ride. 99 bucks to get your height measured by our employee at any rides!”. Also the reply could have been so much colder man, Mr. Park you sound like a guy that was just robbed of his lunch money and then telling his friends “I like to give to the needy” while sporting a black eye. Bro…. Mr. Park you could have been like “Brian, that move that you just did on me, has a next to 0 percent fatality rate. For my revenge move, although it is not strong, it is an Asian move that is world renown to have at least a 2-3.5% fatality rate. Although small chance, it is 100000000000% deadlier than yours” then Mr. Ortega will be like “oh yeah what???? HUH HUH, what is this deadly move of yours” and all you have to do is walk up to him cough in his face and whisper to him “I have been feeling a bit…..feverish this morning” and then walk away. Bro that SICK ASS MOVE WOULD HAVE KO MR. ORTEGA FOR 14 DAYS!!!
Although, of course, it’s certainly not deserved, it is totally expected. Like I’m sorry, it’s UFC fighters… Like come on, it’s those guys that literally slam people on the fiery tables in the name of fun.
If Mr. Jay Park didn’t expect to be slap for translating articles, he was most definite engaging in wisthful thinking. I’m ACTUALLY surprise that he only got slap once.
Brian Ortega has since apologize for his misconduct, which is properly for show more than anything. At first he was like “yeah I’m sorry to Jay Park the translator, Jay Park the musician, not Jay Park the bitch boy OOOOHO DAB DAB DAB DAB” but then he deleted that sorry and properly apologize for his actions, saying if he slapped anyone it should have been the Korean Zombie instead. On Jay Park’s friend part, The Korean Zombie actually called out Brian Ortega on instagram saying “I will end you next time I see you” but apparently as of late, the three had indulge in some forgiveness.
View this post on Instagram
My pride is my enemy, and over the last couple days I’ve been battling it. I hope you understand that I’m human and I’m flawed, in more ways than one. In the beginning, I justified my actions based on the series of events that led up to Saturday, but I now realize that what I did was wrong overall. My parents taught me dignity and respect, and I didn’t show that. My coaches have always taught me that martial arts are to empower the weak against the strong. On Saturday, that didn’t happen. _ When I make a mistake, I own the consequences. But in this case the negativity that I’ve caused has spilled over to the people closest to me, and that’s how I know that what I did was truly wrong. I’m sorry to you guys and my family. _ I apologize to @JParkitrighthere for my actions and the shit storm that followed, you deserve to enjoy MMA from outside the octagon just like any other fan. I apologize to @KoreanZombieMMA for dragging your friend into an equation that should start and end with the fighters.
Jay Park also released a comment on instagram, where he was kind of a prick about it, rapping about how he was the only rapper to be slap and still come up with a W, which is…….. Ok can we all agree Brian gets a free slap card now?
View this post on Instagram
To all the internet tough guys judging me based on my race and looks. Toughness and show of heart is interior not exterior. Also much harder to forgive then to seek revenge. Thank u to everybody who had my back but its over and squashed so everybody lets move on. Back to the grind peace and love #notyouraveragekpopdude #koreanhiphopsfinest #roadlesstraveled #grownmanbars Only rapper to get slapped and get the w momma always said there’ll never be another you Every word i say the realest shit i uttered too got that flow they wanna hear its melted butter smooth Thinkin i got dirty laundry they trying to fold me But i shine like a diamond and thats water so im snorkeling Had killers hittin my line askin to handle it for me I told em it aint that deep keep moving cordially React accordingly sayin we pussy asians? Nah id rather son’em with humility and patience Id rather show em with ability and cadence The world could do without the trolling and the fakin Never said something I couldn’t handle myself wouldnt steal your food id rather tighten my belt sell my soul to sell records? Id rather be on the shelf Asian kid from the burbs the realest u ever felt Dont dig ur own grave theres too much to live for Never take from the poor Robin Hood id rather give more Insecure ways they got more bark then a sycamore My dogs bite but its quietter than a whisper aomg h1ghr music and Seattle Not one curse word or punch thrown and won the battle God level moves and they swimmin without a paddle Im on yacht away from the snakes im never rattled