Imagine, just imagine writing a fairy tale that literally that takes up one page, into a freaking 50 episode monster. That’s like me with all my English essays, I add in flowery terms that turn 1 page of ideas into like 3 pages so that I look smart. Further imagine that while you might support the couple, you are literally condoning basically human+snake pairing. No this ain’t like Beauty sexing the Beast cause at least the Beast was actually a human. This is literally like human mating with an animal. Which is I guess uh………Another choice for anyone out there who thinks that he can’t get with another girl!
Well then shall we get into it? Basically Legend of the White Snake or Madame Snake (#Feminism) or All Women are Snakes (#Feminism) or Turtle’s Revenge is about a guy falling in love with an 1000 year old snake. Wait wait is this like the little mermaid where she will become human if a guy fall in love with her, NO NO SHE CAN’T EVER BECOME HUMAN. YOUR WESTERN POWERS DO NOT WORK ON US EASTERNERS.
Summary of the Original Tale
Anyways where was I, oh yes so the guy didn’t literally fall in love with a snake (Ju Jingyi as the titular white snake) in fact the snake has accumulated so much MAGICAL POWERS that it becomes this very hot human girl (part of a series on Daoism/Taoism how non-human beings can become human and enlighten). In the classic, she obtain this thousand year (or 500 in some versions) worth of magical prowess by consuming a pill that was dropped by (actually vomited) a certain man who like banging bears when he was a child…. Hmmm I wonder who it is (acted by Alan Yu who was a supporting role in Eternal Love- Ten Miles Peach Blossom). Anyways the man actually vommitted two pills, one was for white snake and the other was for her friend the green snake (acted by Xiao Yan). Sadly there was only two pills, they totally did not share with a nearby terrapin (acted by Tim you shall Pei for this snakes! also sorry University of Maryland) nearby that was also subscribe to Taoism. Although the three were buddies, the terrapin cancel the two snake after this.
Anyways a couple of years past before the two snakes figure out how to actually use their magical powers, understandable since there was no user manual on how to turn into a human. They take their human forms (beautiful young ladies named Bai Su Zhen and Xiao Qing) and decided to attend a nearby festival where they meet the vommitter, whose name is Xu Xian/Xuan. OHHHH IT WAS LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT and Xu Xian and the white snake got married. All this time the terrapin has not forgotten the two snakes, he yearn for them with all his heart and now that he also accumulated enough power he turns into a buddhist monk named Fahai. He goes around trying to sabotage this couple (rightly so I mean me as a law abiding citizen Xu Xian should go to jail) and actually succeeds. He didn’t expect that Xu Xian had such low self esteem that he doesn’t mind 69-ing with a snake, what man you can’t go get some one else….. In the end Fuhai gets defeated but not before separating the couple for like a couple of decades (however long to become top scholar in china). He was defeated by the green snake and then went into hiding inside a crab (why not a turtle shell, who knows) and that’s why they say a crab is usually orange because you know Buddhist monks back then where orange robes?
In modern adaptations though, like universally they seem to be a certain amount of hatred against the green snake, she is almost always evil a fact that still confounds me to this day in cahoots with the turtle. I don’t know why that is but we should all remember, humans made her this way she was never evil to begin with (#Frankenstein). I am excited to actually see this show because Madame Snake is a classic eastern children tale. Y’all have Beauty and the Beast or Shrek (where a human woman literally bangs an ogre. I have no idea if it’s consider bestiality it probably is) we have Madame Snake an elegant little children’s tale. The director has a lot to get creative with here, because the core story doesn’t take more than 1 episode to tell, the director has 49 episode to really flesh out all parts of the tale (from the love line to the revenge to probably green snake turning incognito). I hope it doesn’t drag, because I really like how one of my favorite children tale (I use to go see the opera/theater version of this) is being adapted to the big screens.
Alan Yu as the Snake Whisperer Xu Xian- “I do more than whisper to snakes 😉 ”
Ju Jing Yi as Bai Shu Zhen – “I’m a walking social commentary”
Xiao Yan as Xiao Qing – “Why nobody loves me man?? Wei???”
Tim Pei as Fuhai/Fa Hai- “Spirits= Evil= Must be eliminated”