Before SBS Gayo Daejun 2019…..
Wendy: MAN, WHAT DOES AN IDOL HAVE TO DO TO GET NOTICE UP IN THIS JOINT
SBS Genie: Hey Wendy
Wendy: What the??!!
SBS Genie: I over heard back there, you wanted more popularity
Wendy: Who are YOU???
SBS Genie: I am the SBS Genie
Wendy: OOOOOOH BELOVED GENIE, OOOOH IT’S HORRIBLE. I literally have the best vocals in Gen 3 unlike ahem every big Gen 3 girl group. I even SPEAK ENGLISH FLUENTLY unlike like 99% of the idols and and….if you stretch the line a weeeee weeee bit some people might even say I’m a whole ass snack!
SBS Genie: Uh huh…
Wendy: BUT NOOOO PEOPLE LIKE A FLOWER VASE! A FLOWER VASE WITH NO PERSONALITY! AND WHAT ELSE, OOOOH OTHER PEOPLE BE POSTING THESE DUMBASS VIDEOS ABOUT IDOLS TRYING TO SPEAK ENGLISH AND EVERYBODY BE LIKE “KAWAIIIII” WHILE I’M HERE SAYING “SERIOUSLY!!??” Why don’t I get news coverage KISA
SBS Genie: Well Wendy if it matters at all, I think you very very beautiful. You contain great voice and personality. I think it is time people notice you. But you know what, its Christmas, I will grant your wish of more news coverage
Wendy flattered: Well I mean ahem SBS Genie, a bit broken english there
SBS Genie: I’m sorry, I don’t speak english good as you. Well Wendy its time. Time for your wish to come true. The great ReVeFest Finale. Break a Face Wendy
Wendy flattered: AWWW GENIIIIIIEEEE. But it’s actually “break a leg”, that’s the phrase to wish somebody luckkkkkkkkkk AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
SBS Minion rushes up to the platform: What the fuck SIR, what the fuck! You just PUSHED WENDY DOWN
SBS Genie: I was granting her wish?
SBS Minion: YOU JUST DESTROY RED VELVET PERFORMANCE. HOW ARE THEY GOING TO PERFORM WITHOUT WENDY?
SBS Genie: Ehhhh, whatever they were about to die next year when SM debut a new girl group anyways. I’m just speeding the process along. Also, come on, it’s Wendy…. It’s Wendy…
SBS Minion nods: You RIGHT!! NEXT GET ON HERE MOFOs! Wait shit it’s BTS next… BTS Oppas how have you been should we…… step down
SBS Press Conference, the day after
SBS Genie/Bic Boss: Yes yes, we had a VERY SUCCESSFUL FESTIVAL. Not only that, we successfully convince BTS to come! So to all you HATERS out there who said BTS will skip the Festival, HEEEE HAWWWW! Now I want only GOOD QUESTIONS and not….
KBS Reporter #1: About Wendy injuries…..
SBS Genie/Bic Boss: NO NO, UH UH WE AREN’T DOING THAT CHEONG, WE ARE NOT DOING THIS
SBS Reporter #1: But Wendy injuries
SBS BB: Hey FUCK YOU YOU ARE FIRED
MBC Reporter: Do you have any comments on Wendy injuries?
SBS BB: You know what, FINE since you guys want to TALK ABOUT WENDY so MUCH let’s TALK ABOUT WENDY. I PERSONALLY LIKE RONALD
JTBC Reporter: What…..
SBS BB: You know Ronald McDonald? The clown from McDonald. Yeah I like McDonald
KBS Reporter #2: Sir please stay on topic
SBS BB: I AM GETTING THERE “KIM”. Yes yes, McDonald is #1, Taco Bell #2, Burger King #3. Gotta get that Chick too. You know if Popeyes didn’t get that new chicken sandwich DEAD LAST AM I RITE.
Dispatch Reporter #1: What about witness reports on the fact that Wendy fell 2.5 meters in a defenseless state because it was dark?
SBS BB: You know Wendy is cool. But sometimes I don’t really like Roast Beef on my sandwich, I prefer a chicken patty. But that’s just me, how about you guys?
Dispatch Reporter #2: Sir please stay on topic, Red Velvet Wendy is in a serious state. From the early reports from the Seoul Hospital it seems like she suffered many bruises
SBS BB: FINE SINCE YOU GUYS REALLY WANT TO TALK ABOUT RED VELVET WENDY, WE’LL TALK ABOUT RED VELVET WENDY. Ok we accidentally push Wendy. But COME ON, IT’S WENDY. WENDY! IT’S RED VELVET WENDY. W-E-N-D-Y not W-E-N-D-E-E. emphaszies IT’S NOT IRENE!
KBS Reporter #1: Yes also in addition to many bruises, it’s been determine that Wendy suffered from fractures on her wrist and pelvis all on the right side of her body
SBS BB: W-E-N-D-Y. I don’t think people are listening. WENDY. W-E-N-D-Y. Pronounciation “WHEN- DY”. The word “WHEN” and then “DEE”.
Dispatch Reporter #3: It seems like a mhysterious staff member from SBS actually told her to walk in that dark area with no stairs saying something about “granting wishes”, leading to Wendy accident
SBS BB: Whatt…….. smiling Who did Whattttttt
Dispatch Reporter #1: Given this information, do you feel responsible for Wen….
SBS BB: MAN, I DON’T KNOW WHY YOU GUYS ARE SO HOOKED UP ON THIS “WHEN”. IT’S JUST ONE, OK IT WAS ONE. NOT LIKE I PUSH ALL FOUR! THERE’S STILL “WHAT”, “WHERE”, “WHY”, and FUCKING “HOW”
JTBC Reporter #1: Wendy also suffer bruises and fractures on her face. It will take several months to recover
SBS BB: OK IT WAS HER FACE. I DIDN’T HURT HER MONEYMAKING VOICE. Man it ain’t like she was landing CFs or Drama roles with that face either, now she can get a new one with plastic surgery. I THINK I DID, WE DID WELL!
JTBC Reporter #1: Sir you do realize idols are 8 parts looks and 2 parts skill. Wendy cracked her right cheekbone sir. Sir, it’s kind of sufficient to say you ended her career
SBS BB: No I don’t think I did
JTBC Reporter #1: Why you say that sir
SBS BB: As I emphasize, WENDY was getting nothing with her face. All she did was sing OST outside of Red Velvet promotions. Needless to say, she didn’t hurt her voice box from the fall. I don’t think I ended her career cause we hurt her face and she can still sing. If it was Irene, then OK you can accuse us of ending somebody career!
Dispatch Reporter #2: Not only that SIR, you and your staff try to act like nothing happened! You then had OTHER groups go to the second floor and quite understandably everyone was a little anxious about falling off the edge of the world.
SBS BB: Excuse me! Anxious? I think not EVERYONE WAS SMILLING
Dispatch Reporter #3: EVERYONE DOES THAT FOR THE FANS. FAN SERVICE
SBS BB: EVERYONE WAS SMILING. SMILING AND BTS WAS CALLING OUT TO THEIR GIRL FRIENDS ARMY AND RILING UP THE CROWD LIKE NOTHING HAD HAPPEN. You know why you know why?
SBS Reporter: Why?
SBS BB: Because it was WENDY! The one that got accidented on was WENDY! Oh heavens, if we did that to Jungkook, Jin, BTS, or any TWICE members then by heavens I would have stop the broadcast altogether! Heck I swear I would have stop the broadcast IMMEDIATELY if it was like SEOULHYUN who got hurt. But guys IT WAS WENDY. WENDDDYYYYY. Do you stop going to work because you feel bad for squashing bacteria underneath your foot while you were walking???
KBS Reporter #2: Sir…
SBS BB: YOU GOT BACTERIA LIVES ON YOUR HANDS KIM. YOU GOT BACTERIA LIVES ON YOUR HANDS!!
KBS Reporter #3: Sir, that is not an approriate analogy. Wendy is a CRUCIAL part of Red Velvet in singing. If she’s not there, Red Velvet will not be good at vocal performances!
SBS BB: Oh yeah well maybe Red Velvet can finally get as popular as TWICE internally or Blackpink internationally dabs
Naver Reporter #1: Sir please give us a proper statement
SBS BB: I ALREADY APOLOGIZE. I ALREADY AM WORKING WITH SM ENTERTAINMENT TO PROVIDE ADEQUATE TREATMENT aside ahem as adequate as TS and SM treatment of their idols ahem ahem
end aside ADEQUATE TREATMENT! I don’t understand what’s all the FUSS is about, Red Velvet career is almost OVER as a group when SM debut a new girl group next year! Like F(x) who???!! All throughout these SIX YEARS of Red Velvet career, not a SINGLE piece on Wendy or her VOCALS! Now EVERYBODY talking about RED VELVET WENDY. She finally APPEAR FRONT PAGE OF YOUR NEWS WEBSITE
JTBC Reporter #1: Well because she hasn’t been news worthy….
SBS BB: Oh yeah what about that FAKE NEWS that your Newsroom reported? Was that NEWS WORTHY? I go to my lawyer all the time, espcially when PR bombshells like these happens. I go to my lawyer and ask how I can cover it up! Y’all ain’t reporting about ME NOW ARE YOU??? News Worthy??!! BTS maybe dipping on this festival and dipping on ISAAC was news WORTHY???
pointing to Dispatch WHAT ABOUT YOU THERE? SNEAKING INTO IDOLS PERSONAL LIFE RELATIONSHIPS AND OUTING THEM IS NEWS WORTHY? OOOOH I CAN’T WAIT UNTIL NEW YEARS WHEN YOU WORK YOUR MAGIC AGAIN. Not a SINGLE news piece on Wendy or her amazing vocals these past 6 YEARS! If anything I GRANT HER WISHES, I GRANTED REVELUV WISHES OF HAVING WENDY BE MORE RECOGNIZE ON NEWS MOTHERFUCKERS. You ALL SHOULD BE ASHAME OF YOURSELVES! stunned silence
MBC Reporter #1: You know what sir, that’s the most coherent thing you said all day
SBS BB: THANK YOU FOR FALLING INTO MY WHATBOUTISM TRAP. Ahem ahem Now if you EXCUSE ME, I would take only GOOD questions now
KBS Reporter #1: What about Solar….
SBS BB: HEY KIM, WHY DON’T WE TALK ABOUT YOUR GAYO FESTIVAL GIVING UNFAIR TIME DISTRIBUTION TO GROUPS? HA GIVING BOY GROUPS THAT IS NOT MORE POPULAR THAN THE TOP GIRL GROUPS MORE LIKE GOT7 AND MONSTA X WAY MORE TIME AND GIVING BTS A WHOLE 21 MINUTES 3X THE OTHER GROUPS! WHY DON’T WE TALK ABOUT THAT
everybody attacks KBS Reporter #1