SM makes a SUPER boy group. Is BTS, Blackpink, and TWICE sending mix signals of success?

SM makes a SUPER boy group. Is BTS, Blackpink, and TWICE sending mix signals of success?

News just broke around a week ago of SM Entertainment latest KPop industry move that is not money laundering. No it’s not an NCT 127 tour, no it’s not the revival of EXO, no no no. It is a new group, a powerful group here to save the girls and boys koreaboo in the West from the grip of the White Walker King RM and his evil ability to SLAY FAN GIRLS AND RISE THEM FROM THE DEAD TO AUGEMENT HIS ARMY! Meet……… THE AVENGERS!

Starring:

Iron Taemin

Statistics:
80/100 Destroying Girls power
100/100 STRESS

Special Skill: THE SHINE(e)

Lord of Thundering Applause Baekhyun

100/100 Effeminate
100/100 Sunglass Look

Special Skill: Destroyer ( 😉 ) of Queen Taeyeon

Captain Korea-Ass Immortal

100/100 Butt
0/100 Jennie Approval

Special Skill: Sexy Mooning (even Minister Jennie fell for it!)

Red Lucas and Green Ten

Statistics:

100/100 Infighting
0/100 Fame Level

Special Skill:
Lucas: ONE Hulk Policy
Ten: TEN SMASH! ladies swoon

in addition to Hawk-Mark and Ronin Taeyong! Sorry this is the third movie, they are both absent without graphics 😉

Yes that’s right, partnering with Capital Records- a american label company famous for ex-insect Paul McCartney, Eagles, and Beastie Boyz- SM Entertainment have announce the arrival of Super M, a new group that is to debut sometime in October in the United States! Yes that’s right, they will probably become the first KPop group to debut in the United States although technically this is a subgroup. Fun fact, SuperM is my game handle name on Hearthstone, so yes I’m really helping SM Entertainment to play they cards right on this one. Also another fun fact, I think SM is secretly in love with Role Playing and Cosplay for this isn’t the first time he has use his artists in some uhhhh, very RPG concepts.

Of course this move is in direct challenge to BTS and an attempt to ride the KPop wave to its fullest until it (possibly) crashes into the shore in the West. Many fans are actually skeptical about this move and so am I for many reasons….

1) Most Importantly, I don’t think KPop is that big in US

Is KPop that big though? Is it? I am not arguing whether the groups are known, I know there are many people that have heard of the name of “BTS” or “Blackpink” and even rarer “TWICE”. I am arguing about just how many people actually listen to KPop for the way I see it, the audience is still extremely niche. Why do the people think KPop is big, that’s because the media has really skew our perspeception. Man I sound like a republican, but I am not going to lie the media has found out that juicy words like “sold out” really do attract readers and paint KPop as a big phenomenon. They even reported on how BTS and Blackpink was finally playing on the radio and let me tell you as an advent radio listener (for I live in a strict household that restrict computer minutes) I have never heard a Korean song EVER on 99.5 or 107.8 or 94.7 (before they were bought out) except for “Gangman Style” by Psy. Also the media has really been fanning the flames by inserting KPop songs into their shows (Euphoria had “Euphoria” by BTS Jungkook) and reporting on how american record label companies are picking signing groups left and right from NCT 127, to Monsta X, to BTS to Blackpink. Even known comedy late show have buy into the hype: look this group is on James Corden, oh this group is on Jimmy Kimmel and Stephen Colbert! All of this coverage really helps the group to get widespread attention (and that’s why BTS and Blackpink is the two known Kpop acts right now) and make it seem like KPop is something huge. If you have a neighbor Jim who’s 100 years old, and a neighbor Bob who’s a coal miner and somehow both of them know BTS and Blackpink, why they must be pretty big! I fell into the same trap actually because my friends who listen strictly to Rock music and prehistoric era music from the 1970s somehow knew of BTS and Blackpink. A look at the numbers though, tell me otherwise….

Remember how much hype Blackpink got early 2019 after the Coachella performance? They were all over the news espcially like websites dedicated to entertainment. Every website that discuss Coachella 2019, discuss how one group made history and that was Black Pink. It was this that really propel them to the public eye and now alot of people know about this girl group, yet not many people does the DDU DDU compare to “Gangman Style” and it’s not hard to see why when looking at statistics. Their prominence in the news have gone down a lot unlike BTS, for they haven’t really done anything to drive in that Coachella gain (not their fault) so we must all agree here that Blackpink was at their peak of noteriety after Coachella.

Right after Coachella hype, they immediately went on a World Tour and had several NA locations. Many websites said they sold out, which is highly misleading. Yes theorectically, they sold out but all they venues were small as shiz. Saying Blackpink sold out is the media way to skew persception with words and to paint the image that Blackpink is some high Western phenomenom. These were their numbers…..

That’s after a lot of media coverage. 10K and 15K is pretty respectful for a rising group, but check out these numbers of a group that wasn’t promoted at all and isn’t as known as Blackpink here in the West.

Wow suprisingly similiar numbers! At the Forum, this umpromoted group got only like 4K lower audience levels. Keep in mind, that Forum concert for Blackpink was like a few days after Coachella. At Prudential Center, the unpromoted group got 15K so around 5K less than Blackpink. Even after all that hype, how can Blackpink barely beat this group that got no press coverage. That tells you something because I am sure you need to have been into KPop/Korean Culture to know what that unpromoted group was to even go to their concerts cause my friend had no idea of that group when I told them I was leaving for the group concert. That leaves probably around 5000 new converts to KPop, which is the disreprancy between Blackpink and that unpromoted group audience numbers. That still a very niche audience set and not some KPop phenomenon that the Western Media seems to be pushing. By the way, that unpromoted group was TWICE.

The only group where I can say really push the bounds and that really makes it seem like KPop is truly big as fuck here is BTS. With concerts getting around 50K and even 30K in London, truly BTS is big at least in Western Hemisphere. I would say Asia too, but that’s nothing special because if you look at the numbers TWICE almost always match BTS audience numbers in Asia.

BTS albums sales achieve 200K-300K units consistently in the US (at least that’s what Wings, Persona, Tear, Answer), which is around what big names in pop right now in the US gets (Ariana Grande for example). BTS has reached that level where they have created many voices screaming their name and posting online on how BTS songs are so deep (which they aren’t. For shizzle they are as deep as TWICE songs. Name me a BTS songs, I can name an equally deep TWICE song). Heck I actually came across a video about how Map of the Soul: Persona (BTS latest album) was a commentary on Carl Jung work, which honestly what the fuck? Just because the name eludes to a big concept doesn’t make “Boy with Luv” a deep song. You want some deep shiz? See Kendrick Lamar.

That brings me to the conclusion that it is not KPop that is big in the Western World or United States, it’s that BTS is big in the western world or United States and they happen to be a KPop act. Then people mistakenly and albeit understandably extrapolate that too mean that KPop is huge but ehhh not really… yet?

2) If successful, it might spell doom for NCT 127 and WayV

NCT 127 and WayV, ahhhhhh SM newest groups that have been promoting extra hard in the US right. SM is really trying to create a group that is as successful as BTS, under a false impression that KPop is huge here which again it isn’t just yet. Just check out these concert numbers from NCT 127….

Ah yes, 5K people! That’s how much Billie Ellish got pre-“Bad Guy”! You can’t really say Billie Ellish was big or at least that well known pre-“Bad Guy” unlike now how her songs are play on the radio every single fucking time!

Even though it’s low concert numbers, I search up NCT 127 concerts review and I got “ooooh they are so successful they SOLD OUT” espcially on this article. Uhhhh…. here I thought reading that “wow geez NCT 127 must got at least double digit thousandths” to find out they barely got even half!!!

So this time around, SM is bringing big hitters, at least big names in Asia. Taemin is an established solo artist. Baekhyun, and Kai was part of EXO, which was/is BTS-TWICE level big in Asia and apparently our glorious President daughter likes EXO. But that’s in Asia……. and as we seen with mega groups like TWICE, success in Asia doesn’t mean success in uh….. United States of America and the Western World unless your name is BTS. Their name is not BTS, and so even though some of these members in this new Super M group are huge in Asia, they will be as known as me, coolguy1234, here. Which is why, I don’t think Super M will be successful in their intended market which seem like United States. Sure, not going to lie they can be big in Asia, but I think they will flop here.

In the event that Super M don’t flop though, this group might just spell doom for NCT 127 and WayV. SM Entertainment is a business, and business like money espcially SM who is willing to money launder if necessary to line his pockets. If SM finds a successful venture in Super M (USD >>>> Korean Wons), he will ditch NCT 127 and WayV no question because honestly they aren’t big enough to be save. When JYP debuted TWICE and they became mega, they kicked Miss A to the curb because Miss A wasn’t big enough. JYP haven’t kick TWICE to the curb even though they debuted ITZY (what the fuck 6 show wins already???) because TWICE is currently could be rivaling the success of Girl’s Generation.

Even if somehow in the event that Super M gets big and SM is willing to let the members walk back to their respective career, uhhhhhh one member shining success has been proven to kill a group before. It’s not even the popular member fault, it’s that he/she/they don’t have time for group album releases because they are filming commercials or dramas which pay way more than the idol life. This happen with Miss A (Suzy) and 4Minute (Hyuna). AOA is a special case, Seoulhyun popularity is way bigger than any member of her group yet AOA looks like it is still lasting, but not without scars of discontent (like AOA Mina wiping her instagram of AOA memories or ChoA and Youkyung leaving).

3) If it isn’t successful, it might spell doom for NCT 127 and WayV

If the Super M is not successful (likely scenario) and SM continue to push, NCT 127 and WayV will definitely die or something. It’s never good to remove any member from any group for extended period of time, espcially when those members are currently the “known person” in their group. Lucas and Ten are the known members of WayV, and Taeyong + Mark is probably the most well known member of NCT 127. Although SM has stated that this Super M won’t be impeding any of the members progress whether it be solo career or in group career, but if you want to trust rich man who was wanted by Interpool in London then by all means, he is the “President of Culture” after all.

This was actually one of the reason why there were haters on the new Produce 101 latest season for that 5 year contract. Removing a member from a newbie group for an extended period of time and putting that group on hiatus (so that the fans don’t go OT # of members in that group-that fucker).

4) At the end of it all, these so call “KPop avengers” will probably end up like…….

EXTRA EXTRA: Iron Taemin stuck in Foreign Space

EXTRA EXTRA: Thunder Lord retires to UN Village

But hello, these KPop avengers might just pull an unlikely win in the Endgame.

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I see my letter of to POPO WORKS

Yes, it is I coolguy1234. I just want to say, TOTALLY ON TOP OF THE WORLD RIGHT NOW 😉 YESSIR. I HAVE POPO CONTROLLING POWERS!

Ahem ahem, after my BITING AWESOME SARCASTIC LETTER that was read by EVERYBODY, the police finally after months of inactivity have went ahead and seize documents from YG headquarters. They come in WITH GUNS BLAZING, hitting people with that DDU DDU DDU! Nah it was a peacful search and seizure and the documents obtain confirmed that YG did illegally gamble money at Las Vegas and many other asian casino places (in Korea you aren’t allow to gamble at a casino except for one casino in the country). While a lot of people are glad to see justice finally working again, some are skeptical about if it even matters anymore since YG had months to get rid of evidence and if he was smart he would have done so already. Better late than never though because finally after all this time, the police got search and seizure rights DUE to the gambling allegations about YG and Seungri. A bit disheartening since it wasn’t because of soliciting prostitutes (NOOOO), nor was it any other YG crimes, it was freaking gambling that got him. That’s like I built an elaborate trap and to catch someone and then they somehow DODGE all of my well place traps. When I thought all is finish, this person slip on a stupid BANANA PEEL and I got them, like I guess???? But I am so MAD THAT ALL MY ELBAORATE TRAPS DIDN’T WORK.

Source: 1

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[Review] Weki Meki goes tropical islander

A little known group with sadly a little following on their recent comeback following “Picky Picky” back in like May. Weki Meki probably is ONLY possible known as of now is due to their association with IOI, which one of its member use to be apart of.

It’s……. an OK song. Underneath LAYERS AND LAYERS of fan service from winks to um other stuff (which I DO NOT APPRIECIATE. I BANISH THEE THOTICUS!) the music is fine I guess. I don’t know, something just feel missing to me in the song, and I think its the monotone nature of it all. Sure there was a change in beat from parts but overall the song was homogenous. There were rarely parts where the whole beat dip, even if there were a slight drop of other sounds and there were just drums the vocals always were the same pitch. To me on a pure listening standpoint (cause I had to LOOK AWAY FROM THE FAN SERVICE) it lack the variety that could have made it so much better. The choreograph was fine but nothing outstanding but overall I do think this is an improvement over “picky picky”. I see Weki Meki are experts at having two words chorus lines, which is interesting.

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[Review] Seventeen and the wild “Hit”

Ah, if you think 9 members was already too much in a KPop group, it’s time for the overloaded 13 member group- Seventeen. I really wonder why they aren’t 17 membered instead then. Apparently, Seventeen is the member count (13 members) + sub unit count (3 sub unit) + “SEVENTEEN” the group. Which is a BS mathmatical equation, they were just totally looking for the “1” from somewhere else cause we all know SIXTEEN IS TRADEMARK BY TWICE! HAHAHA

Classic EDM music here, which is why I don’t really like it. What I do apprieciate though, is the choreograph although with so many members I have trouble distinguishing the group members from the backstage dancers (are they the ones in red??) if there were any at all. I do apprieciate the fact that most Seventeen songs are written by them and even some of the choreography is done by members. I got to say, those are some “powerful” moves. The song is definitely a “summer” song I would say, that is if you link summer with druken concert parties where you are too drunk and there’s too much lights flashing around and you are just widely waving your hand in the air like everyone else. That is what this song feel like, in retrospect when I’m sober I really don’t like it. The chorus isn’t that good, it doesn’t even feel like it increase the build up energy but the dance drop is again pretty nice during that part. I don’t know, I never really like these type of songs with like different beat for the vocals and then the beat get intenstly synthetic for the rap. It’s kind of like Monsta X’s “X-phenomenon” and many other boy group songs that has that intense EDM (Electronic Dance Music) touch to it I know it’s made for a specific set of audience, and sadly I am just not a part of that audience.
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TWICE announces comeback with Mina (?)

“For the KPOP Lord said onto TWICE “if thou seek to have untold powers, a sacrifice must be made!!”. So TWICE reluctantly prepare a beautiful Swan with the finest black feathers! 😉 😉

Wow, classic JYP really overworking TWICE right now. Not only have they just finished their North American leg of TWICELIGHTS World Tour (the last two concert were Newark and Chicago), they just had their Korean comeback 4 months ago and their Japan one around two months ago. I must say, this KPop business, wew mind if I catch a breather real quick??

The biggest issue on this next comeback is will TWICE’s Mina be there. Mina has been out from group promotions and the three concerts in North America due to sudden anxiety and mental health problems. She is supposed to be out until February of next year and this sudden news of a comeback leaves many people questioning if her presence will be missing even though she recently came back to South Korea with her mother. JYP Entertainment has not said anything on the matter and many fans are biting their nails. A lot of idols who take breaks like this and miss out on one comeback usually mean that they are BYE BYE alhtough the company usually leaves a door for them to comeback if they want in the future. What the fans don’t understand though that in order for TWICE to become SNSD (Girl’s Generation), we MUST HAVE A JESSICA! In all honesty, many people are taking solace in the fact that there were plenty of tears on TWICELIGHTS tour whenever Mina abscence was felt and whenever the stadium lit up mint-green. But then again, SNSD members also cried when Jessica left the group and we all know those two parties got some bad blood going on.

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Oh Look another SURPISE from YG!!

I got to say, CEO Yang has gotten a lot of publicity in Korea recently. Now of course it is not good publicity, ranging from him basically human trafficking to being a dick over all. You know for the sake of discussion, “the myth, the legend, the BOY” ex-CEO Yang has not gotten himself into THAT much trouble, like to be honest the only crime (which is a heavy crime in western standards) was mediate prostitute during a dinner party. Ok that and tax evasion which to be honest, probably every rich person partake in it (our glorious president) and it is widely known so but nobody in the government seem to want to address it.

Now if you take the prosititution crime with a grain of Korean Culture where sex service are offer at the right price at your nearest hair salon, maybe it wasn’t so much of a crime after all. Now I want to stress that yes prostitution by law is illegal in Korea, but it’s a law a lot of people and quite possibly the society as a whole don’t give a two cent about. The prostitution law is sort of like jay-walkers in america. If you don’t get caught, totally fine nobody cares. If you do get caught, fine nobody cares either unless they are require too (like colleges asking for a criminal record or business asking if you have any criminal activities). Heck get this, 1 in 5 Korean men regurlarly go visit a prostitute. That’s right, over 20% of Korean men (pull up your bias Kpop boy group, count the members and pray it isn’t above 4!) and if you say “coolguy1234 you clearly making this shiz up” well here’s wikipedia, and another blog from people visiting Korea if you don’t believe me. Of course when view through the western lenses, of course prostitution is horrible and bad and the people who are partaking in it are monsters, but Yang Hyun-Suk ahjussi is a korean man and so we must use a korean culture lense to judge him. I have talk to many KPop lovers and they all think YG is a huge dick and the number #1 reference they go to is this mediating prostitutes, but I would argue that YG was kind of just following cultural norms and he is a real dick when mistreating his artists (like Park Bom or MixNine). Maybe this is why in the latest episode of YG, I can still call this ahjussi a dingus even though the supposed crime he committ is not really a crime at all…..

YG + Big Bad Seungri and gambling. Wow, can’t stay out of trouble can you my fair ahjussi? Now of course a lot of western KPop fans actually agree that gambling isn’t all that bad, but they don’t care as long as CEO Yang walk the plank of life imprisonment for being a dick. Sad that it is we should not be putting a person in prison if his only crime is being a dick or else many many people should be behind bars. Like uh, every midwest farmer if you are a liberal, or that neighbor who keeps letting his dog out to poop on your yard. Life imprisonment should only be for heinous crime, and sad to say I just haven’t seen CEO Yang committing a heinous crime… yet. Anyways backs to gmbling, apparently YG and Seungri have been both implicated in gambling overseas, particularly in VEGAS. Seungri was actually interview back in March when the first chatroom messages broke out to become the widespread Burning Sun scandal, he actually denied that he was ever gambling saying it was a BLUFF. Well my guy I wish you just had bluff in that message room and not down in Vegas. Apparently, Seungri busted around 1.5 million USD (approximately 2 billion won) on playing Baccarat. CEO Yang likewise busted 820,000 USD (approximately 1 billion won) throughout the night in the VIP room of the MGM Hotel Casino in VEGASSSS. This situation has blown up to a big scale involve the FBI looking into it and providing intel for Korea because they have absolutely nothing better to do that they won’t fail at like finding COLLUSION or protecting election from interferences. Nicely done! J. Edgar Hoover is not so gay with your performances right now and while I definitely don’t want COINTELPRO part 2, the FBI seem to be at least much more effective back in those days.

Now what’s the big deal about gambling anyways? Well in South Korea, laws related to gambling split people into two caterogies citizens and foreigners. The foreigners can gamble wherever and whenever they want in one of Korea’s 17 certify casinos. Citizens though, are strictly prohibited to gamble except at Kangwon Land Casino– a remote casino south of Seoul. Even then, gambling is heavily frowned upon in the society (now if you koreans can just also frown upon prostitution or cheating husbands that would be nice too). Heck, gambling is so frown upon that Koreans that are overseas or are traveling to other countries are NOT allow to gamble also even if you are playing at extremely low stakes. So if you are an average Korean citizens and gamble $1 USD at a casino in the US or other Asian countries, you can be subjected to a heavy fine. If you are caught on multiple occasions you might be label as a “habitual gambler” and the punishment triple in size up to 3 year-imprisonment. Gambling persucution though is usually open up only when there’s already substaintial allegations against an individual most police aren’t actively checking if everyone going in and out of the country has engage in gambling activities. So if you are persecuted as a gambler, good job you are probably a celebrity or a person in charge of an impressive amount of wealth (like CEO of a company) cause most of us ordinary folks turn very frugal with our money when we travel to other countries.

Since YG and Seungri both has substaintial allegations of them, the gambling persucution is now ON. Now for all their faults and dickiness you can’t really say they have committed a crime in this (unless you are a law loving citizen and never have jaywalk, pirated, or driving over the speed limit even by 1 mph in that case I say, Impressive but uh LIVE A LITTLE??). What maybe criminal in all this gambling activities that Seungri and CEO Yang have done is treating their artists shitty. The idol life doesn’t pay that much unless you are a mega/big group like BTS, TWICE, or Blackpink. And YET, there have been new evidence that CEO Yang might have gamble away not his own money, but his artists money. There is now an investigation going on linking YG artists overseas concert profits to YG gambling. Not like KPop is big here yet or anything (big in a sense of name knowing yes. Big in a sense of concert antendees and album/merch purchasing is still a niche) And there, just there, is where I can condemn YG in this action. It’s one thing to steal from the rich, stealing from idols who barely scraping by is certaintly, in the words of the GREAT COOLGUY1234, some fuck up shit.

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What are your thoughts on the current affairs of YG entertainment and on this issue?

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[Review] “Bim Bam Bum” a new saga begins

Woolim new girl group that is suppose to suceed Lovelyz it seem like, a group that is sadly probably forever stuck in nugudom (not that well known). Rocket Punch is a bold statement to politics featuring a debut of one of the captain of AKB48 (japan biggest idol group) espcially at a time where South Korea and Japan relations have been rapidly souring. Heck this japanese member- her name is Juri- seem like she was on “American Paegant” or something for at M-Countdown Debut Stage she was asked by a reporter about her take on the relations between the two countries. It is such a complex question and layer one that I don’t know why a reporter would ever ask that on a show, if you want to ask that do it on a private interview you don’t got to put the person on blast and give him/her like what 40 seconds to respond? Anyways the group does have a slight advantage over other debuting group in that most of their members are already known-ish. Half of them were on Producer 48 the cross Producer 101 season that was manage by both Japan and Korea, the show that eventually created Izone. None of them were ranked that high though, but I got to give it to them they really seem to have practice their craft for this debut. Standing at an impressive 4.5 milion views at day 2, which does seem like a promising start.

The one thing that struck out to me was how many different type of synthetic beats were in this song. Each verse seems like to have a different beat, and oh man do I love the chorus with their little “beep beep” sound right there in the background. I do like how as the song progresses, the beat gets a little faster and stronger. It’s like leveling up in a game quite honestly and there are some pretty nice moments in this song that I really like for example that chorus part and also how they weave in the “love love love” near the end and just when the song beat seem to dip in the beat, it goes back up to end the song on a high note. Even though there were many differenty type of beats, Rocket Punch actually manages it quite well and weave all of it into a cohesive song that is not full of vigor and energy, it is actually… kind of unique. To be honest this is one of the better debut, if not probably the best debut that I have heard this year (didn’t really like EVERGLOW, nor G-IDLE, nor ITZY that much). I also really apprieciate the choreography, it seems newer groups do tend to put a lot into their debut and while it doesn’t look that complex the moves are still there and the girls spend more time dancing then just standing around. It’s a great start, espcially debut wise although the group concept is much too like ITZY (girl crush but innocent in there too) and you don’t want to be in that group shadow espcially since they got a lot of leverage as a girl group from the big 3.

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[Review] KPop Girl Group goes “Bungee Jumping”

Fresh off from their win with “Fifth Season” is the relatively overlooked girl group that is OMG (Oh My Girl). It’s been like 4 years since their debut now and still striving for that big break. Even though they had actually a US tour (only 6 girl group have done one) which had less than stellar attendance rate but hey, they weren’t that known in the first place. This song though, does see an uptick in views so maybe their hardwork is paying off…. if only a little….

I must confess that the only song I actually heard from them ever is “Fifth Season”, which I happen to like cause it was a kind of unique ballad actually. Here though they ditch all that uniqueness for a more generic summer style comeback. To be honest, for me it works. It’s definitely a “summer song” with it’s more tropical theme and soft electric. Heck the song even have the “hola” to sound more “tropical” (wow that sounded racist) or something. They have a nice transition between the rap verses and the main chorus, although I felt like the second rap verse transition was a bit weird with the english speaking. I really like the drum beat in the background, although it never got more intense it kept the energy of the song at a stable level and it uses other synthetic sound instead to rise the level of the chorus over other parts of the song. I like the music video, it stuck to the theme of the music with them having fun. Even the dresses were summer theme, like picnic tops and sailor custome but then again that’s almost all KPop videos. The only factor of this song that I have to say I really do not like was the choreograph. It wasn’t that hard of moves, and sometimes I felt like they were “trying to hard” to appeal to whoever they can espcially the dabbing by Mimi (the blonde dye haired girl) that totally turn me off. I wonder if Korea is hip to the dabbing trend now, cause in america literally only middle schoolers even do it anymore. I got to say it’s a pretty good song in my book, nothing experimental or stand-out from any other KPop song but it does its job as a nice energizing summer bop.

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China gaming industry goes “Party Loving”

“RISE UP GAMERS. Also GO HOME GAMER GIRLS!”

Ahhhhhh, ChinaJoy. Basically China biggest gaming convention/expo where for three days, sexual repressed teens (cause Porn hub is ban in China) can go ooooogle at the conspicious amount of new games being unveil and the equally conspcious number of female models present to do cosplay (yes it’s actually more females than males). Sadly though this year IS NO FUN as China continue to crack its censorship whip. Apparently in an effort to curb “vulgar girls”, the expo has enforced strict rules for models present at the event. “No Skirts, No belly buttons, or else No SHOW!”. Not only that to prevent those boys from wetting themselves and having dirty thought, the models are forbidden to eat carrots or bananas, basically anything that resembles a dick. I guess we can get around that by just making the model drink milk or something. In addition to that, no condoms are to be pass out during the event which honestly what the fuck? Is this a gaming convention or a sex zone? Who passes out condoms at a gaming convention? Like when will those nerds and geeks ever use them except as play things to make balloon boobies and pretend to be a female because honestly that’s the only time where CONDOMS SHOULD BE USE!

The sex part of the convention aside, this year not only is the film industry get slapped in the face by the censorship dildo, it seems like gaming industry haven’t faired much better. The Chinese Government is concern about the amount of violence in espcially popular FPS games as well as the rising “gaming addiction” problem. They have made moves from disencouraging companies from developping or even promoting FPS games, to enforcing a time limit where players will be unceremoniously kicked out of their games after playing it for a #of hours. China- and the world for that matter- biggest gaming corporation, Tencent, have been feeling the heat from these censorships. Over the past year Tencent have seen its share drop by over 40%- which by this time have made some recovery- and not only that have seen a few of its intended new failing to receive government approval before it could go into the market. This time around though, the gaming company aims to get it right by doing what Huayi Brothers been doing after seeing big losses in revenue, working directly with the government. At ChinaJoy, the company feature its upcoming releases such as “Homeland Dream” and “Story of My Home”. Working with both the state-owned “People’s Daily”, “Homeland Dream” goes full on farmville. In the game the players get to manage a small coastal town on Chinese terriotory, more specifically on the South China Sea which is basically a direct propagonda on China part to push the narrative that the contested region is a part of their land (the claims ALSO INCLUDE TAIWAN, good bye Taiwan I MEAN CHINESE TAIPEI). The second game was a product of work with the propaganda department, which basically tells the history of China though a more party friendly version where probably the Koumintang are blood thirsty savages that the player have to defeat.

Other gaming companies are finally bowing down to the pressure of censorship also and this year China Joy looks more like a big old propagonda show with a hidden layer of sex as per to other years where it was mainly sex with a hidden layer of gaming. And it looks like China government will continue its oversight on the industry as the head publisher of China Propagonda Department notes that it is about time that gaming corporations “…. need to seriously consider social effects … and always steer in the right direction in politics, value, content theme, and quality, and never provide platforms and channels for wrong views and low taste”.

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OOOH MY! It’s time to become E! Tabloids!

Alright gang it’s that time of the night. It’s time for this website to turn into a tabloid gossip news real quick. We have three piece of news, all concerning JYP and two concerning TWICE members.

1) Jihyo and Kang Daniel DISPATCHed!

Ok gosh dang, I must say DISPATCH although dick heads for invading privacy, I got to say they are reliable as fuck. WAY WAY MORE RELIABLE than these OTHER AMERICAN TABLOIDS. Dispatch over the weekend took some juicy pictures of Jihyo getting out of a car to meet up with Kang Daniel. Apparently the couple have been dating ever since January, I guess JYP Entertaiment forgot the monthly payment of the bribe fee so that Dispatch will stay silent. JYP Entertainment confirmed the relationship as news broke….

Jihyo’s agency JYP Entertainment and Kang Daniel’s agency KONNECT Entertainment commented, “They are currently meeting with interest in each other.”- Soompi

Meanwhile the CEO of KONNECT Entertainment is nowhere to be found. Yes that’s right in the when the CEO is needed most to confirm the news about his one and only artist ex-Wanna One’s Kang Daniel HE DISAPPEAR. I last heard he was going on a date with his girlfriend or something hmmmmmm.

Anyways while Jihyo is getting much more support from Knetizens, ahem ex-Wanna One Kang Daniel…. Uhhh…. yeah not so much….. His debut song is now dropping on charts!

Even TWICE know off the relationship for one member was the one who drove Jihyo to her date. Wait a second, Jihyo can’t drive?? Well at least we know it wasn’t Tzuyu, she drives exclusively a bulldozer.

I would write a play according to this but a reddit user “RedVelvetGod” already beat me to it….

I’m imagining a Kdrama of him having a split personality where his CEO and idol side are different, and he blacks out whenever one of them switches and takes over the body and can’t remember when the other takes over.

CEO Kang dated Jihyo first, but Idol Kang got the first kiss.

Jihyo thinks CEO is hotter and more attractive, but Idol Kang is who she thinks about the most throughout the day and fits her ideal type.

An internal war inside Kang brews, he feels confused as to which side is his true side and feels frustrated, like he’s sharing a girlfriend with another man.

Jihyo, who loves both sides, questions whether or not she can handle dating two different men with her busy schedule. She also wonders which side of him is the side that she’s truly in love with.

What will our hero and heroine do? Find out tonight, airing on TvN and in real life the new drama series “Dating Twice a Day” starring Kang Daniel and Park Jihyo

South Korean Government: Hehehehehee, yes yes be distracted disappears

Wait what was that????? Uh….. ok I thought I heard something. Anyways ONWARDS!!


2) Heechul GREATEST CON??!!!

Oh yes, Super Junior Heechul known for being humorous is CONNING US ONCE AGAIN! Apparently there is now reports that TWICE’s Momo maybe romantically involve with Heechul. The report claim that the these two people have been at it for TWO YEARS. It’s not like these two haven’t have rumours before, since Heechul been saying that he has a crush on Momo for a while now on various variety shows, but everybody thought it was a joke……

Well JYP Entertainment and Super Junior Label call the report “BULLSHIZZZ” which many people are taking as actual confirmation that the news is not true. I mean JYP just confirm Jihyo, so why not this one? What they forget is, Jihyo is different from Momo who is Japanese in the midst of souring relations between South Korea and Japan. SM Entertainment is also “looking into the news” but for now it remains to be seen if Homo will be a thing.

Wow Mr. Heechul nice calling your shots man! You remind me of the fable Sir Lee Seung Gi and his pining for SNSD’s Yoona back in the good old days. Meanwhile please enjoy this very accurate google translation that I got when I jokingly ran the report under the translator tool….

OH SHIZ MR. HEECHUL? TWO YEARS IN A ROW?? BRO, WHAT A GOD! YO THE STAMINA WHAT THE FUC! Apparently now he’s top of Twitter trends along with Momo. The song “Sweet Dreams” from 2016 is also climbing on the charts. Suprise, that song showcase a “shy Heechul” asking out the lead lady in the music video. GUESS WHO THE LEAD LADY IS??

Source: 1, 2

South Korean Government: YASSSSS YASSSSSS BE DISTRACTEDDDDDDDDDD disappears

Wait what the heck?? Did any of you heard that??? This is giving me the chills


3) 15& dies. Wait did anyone knew who they were?

It has been reveal that the two member group 15& is now officially DEAD. Park Ji Min has refused to resigned I mean re-signed with JYP Entertainment. We have no idea what her partner in crime Baek Yerin is going to do but 15& is now officially done for. The girl group/duo was debuted in 2012 and was suppose to actually serve as a bridge from Miss A to TWICE. Well they were a little known group anyways, never quite got off…. Yes ladies and gents lets revise the order of JYP girl groups which actually goes: Wonder Girls -> Miss A -> 15& -> TWICE -> ITZY. Big RIP, and the sad part is they won’t be missed except by a few niche fans….

Source: 1

Wow covering that sad disbandment news really piut things into perspective. Why did so many dating scandals/news got out lately??? Like bro, TWICE is huge it would be like dropping dating scandals about BTS. I wonder what the news cycle in Korea is trying to cover up….???

South Korean Government: Wait SHIZ. WAIT WRONG NEWS WRONG NEWS, PANIC PANIC WE ARE ABOUT TO BE DISCOVERED!! NOO GIVE ME SOME JUICY NEWS ABOUT BTS

Me: Wait SHIZ WAS IT YOU ALL THIS TIME SOUTH KOREAN GOVERNMENT DISAPPEARING AND REAPPEARING
SKG: OH SHIZ, HE’S ON TO US. TAKE THIS!!! SEOUL TOWN ROAD!
Me: Wow Oppa RM is so hawt…. WAIT A SECOND!
SKG: NOOOOO, JUNGKOOK AND IU???? ANYTHING ANYTHING!!!

Ahem supposedly there is a long running tradition in Korea that everytime there some thing that the government wishes to cover up, they release dating news of idols in order to distract the public. Sadly, it actually usually works, even sites like NAVER also actively participate in government fuck-ups cover ups.

Well you see, recently North Korea just launched another ballistic missile which cause widespread panic. This is an important detail we will come back too in a little bit.

So, Japan and South Korea were never on the best terms. South Korea or should I say ALL OF KOREA hates Japan for steamrolling them back in WW2 and for killing a lot of Koreans during Hideoyoshi failed Korean Invasions. Recently, the relations have soured and nobody quite knows why, or at least nobody reported on it. Anyways, South Korean economy is facing a down turn as of now, which is normal if anyone knows about the Business Cycle. Japan though, has always have more of a powerhouse economy than Korea even though Korea has a big economy.

Entertain me on this analogy, South Korea has a 6 inch dingus, which is bigger than the Asian average of 5 inch. BUT, Japan got the ABC (HA THE ASIAN REPLY TO THE BLACK COMMUNITY BBC! EAT IT, I MEAN SUCK IT!) of 10 inch dingus!!!! South Korea has always saw this disreprancy as a threat and recently President Moon expressed his desired to unite with North Korea by way of economy. Well this drew harsh criticism from Knetizens and other government officials who isn’t all too happy with the North Koreans. Although many Koreans like the idea of reunification, neither the North and the South have a method. Also those critics of President Moon were quick to point out that those North Koreans would only drag the South economy down and not upgrade it to fight back the economic disreprancy. They aren’t wrong, for West Germany went under a period of brief economic downturn when reunification happen before Germany as a whole bloom again.

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