A Letter to the Korean POPO

A Letter to the Korean POPO

Dear Korean Police Force,

Hello fellow ahjussis, you know as I get into the business of diving into the Korean/Asian entertainment news, I can’t help but feel bad for you, the policemen the enforcer of laws. Espcially in recent months from the Burning Sun Scandal, to B.I drug gig, and now to Daesung whole gag you guys have got so much flames for doing the wrong thing from like Channel A, No Cut News, Naver, and many other personal blogs. You know what, there has not been much talk or apprieciation on how much you guys got done after it was discover that you guys fucked up. It’s like a football match where everybody talks about how you fumble the ball and almost cost your team a super bowl, but no one talks about how you later got a pick 6 to win it for your team. Oh sorry? Were you thinking about the other football that your nation love so much that you would excuse the best of the best from military service? My apologies, I totally forgot that most of your men and women for that matter weigh under 10 kg so it makes sense if you can’t take on us AMERICANS AND OUR MASSIVE BICPES in a MANLY SPORT GAME.

[/expander_maker] So although my apprieciation is small, I’m just an edgy teen who at a ripe age of 18+ thinks it’s fine to put coolguy1234 as a username (ME NO LOSER!), it is something I hope you can take heart in as you go about your very awesome work. Trust me I questioned why I was writing this: “Hey coolguy1234, they aren’t reading this” or “Hey coolguy1234, your apprieciation is too small”. But I had a throwback thursday moment to that starfish story in my childhood, I learn that no act of kindness is small. As an extra added bonus, I am not typing in Korean-NOT BECAUSE I AHEM DON’T KNOW IT- for you. You see if you manage to read this, congratualations you just gained awesome mastery over the english language. See how magminous I am? As my asian father will tell you, he prevented me from doing leisure activities unless it is educational. Since you guys are older asian men, I am putting myself in your shoes to give you educational work while you are reading. Enjoy!

To be honest, there is a lot of things to love about Korean and Asian police force. I mean unlike USA police force, you are from being “racist”. No you go out there and engage in yellow on yellow, excuse me for you ahem in the asian entertainment industry I mean white on white, violence. While it may be bad you know killing/tear gasing/oppressing people and all, but over here in the USA the police force does that to minorities and they are racist! An extra bonus that I think none of us need. Not only that as I watch your beloved dramas, I have learn to always be skeptical of the good guys. Like if Steve (pictured) seems like the perfect guy white white teeth smile…..

….he is properly hiding a psycopathic killer side underneath it all!!

OH MY GOD STEVE YOU SNAKE! GET AWAY FROM ME AND YOUR EVIL PLANS. I NEVER TRUSTED YOU STEVE! I learn this from YOUR GREAT COUNTRY, and as your population view it for the hot actors or actresses that can sometimes barely act, they fail to grasp that true good guys need a bit CORRUPTION! Heck what you guys did like taking bribes and stuff? SMALL COMPARE TO LITERAL HUMAN TRAFFICKING (selling people) AND ENSLAVEMENT and no I am not talking sageuk.

Actually let’s look at the record if you guys take bribes or not or was it just gifts from AWESOME FOLKS who did perfectly “legal” things. Burning Sun scandal and supposedly illegal filming? Oh pish posh, if I learn anything about Korean culture, it is your very very WOKE MASCULINITY where we prove our MENHOOD by going to the military getting strong and sexting up the baddest “bitches”! Prostitution charges from YG Entertainment? The only thing my man “the myth, the legend, the boy” CEO Yang did wrong was not registering it as an official “salon” business! I can totally understand why you thought that it was alright for CEO Yang and Badman Seungri to do all of these things when it is so normalize in Korean Culture! You know I keep telling my fellow americans the secret to having extra-maritial sex and still getting a wife is simply to marry Korean! But be extra careful my fellow americans to tell your korean wives that before the allegedly extra-maritial sex that you engage in foreplay where cash transfers WERE present cause I emphasize folks, it ain’t cheating if you paid for it!!!

Even though I personally apprieciate what the you guys do, I understand that you guys have an image to clean up with the public. Just today it was reveal that an officer from your fellowship might have struck a deal with “Micky” Yoo Chun in a “sexual misallegation” back in 2016. A while earlier it was reveal that members of your fellowship once again eff up by clearing Big Bad Daesung building from suspicious activities when there were let’s say some shady activities going on. I totally get that you need a case where you get stuff done right, but Producer 101 voter fraud IS NOT IT! Recently it was reported that you have seize evidence from Mnet Headquarters to further your investigation into the matter. I really apprieciate how you are trying to get this right, but let’s be real, Producer ain’t the presidential election. You don’t need a full fleet of police going after a show that garner an average of 2.5% ratings. So officers if you feel panicky about needing to get something right after a string of misses with the public, just know that you are APPRIECIATED as long as you just keep your head up and place the resources where it is actually needed.




What are your thoughts on the current climate in South Korea?

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