Hong Kong needs some Taylor Swift song right about now

“You need to calm down” said Taylor Swift to Hong Kong. OH NO TAYLOR SWIFT SUPPORTS HONG KONG POLICE! JK JK JK. Anyways let’s get down to it again. We are revisiting the Hong Kong situation, this would be our what… 6th time or something??? The whole Hong Kong situation is like a whole fucking Fast and Furious Franchise. After the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd movie it went downnnn hilll although the ratings still kept up. I’m happy to say we are at the Fast and Furious 7 in this Hong Kong tale, you know the part some tragic incident actually happens (rest in peace Mr. Walker)

Fans: psst psst

Wait what the fuck? It is still ongoing?? There’s a 9 now???? Well who knows, maybe in “The Fate of the Kong” there will be a woke Chinese invasion of the region. Let’s review this long ass incident shall we, this time REALLY find out why Hong Kong has not stop rioting even though technically the “extradition bill” has been cut from talk

1) The rise of the Hong King Kong

It started like all movies start off with, a fail break up, a murder, and a heartless country (this is why Taiwanese people are evil guys! JK JK JK).

There was this fellow named Chan Tong Kai who was visting the fair-absolutely-NOT-china country of Taiwan. Anyways this fellow Chan Tong Kai was with his girlfriend and since in the modern era it seems like people have ditch god in their mind in favor of instant gratification (sex before marriage) he was probably doing his girl friend 24/7. Anyways this guy is an absolute MONSTER, imagine having sex with Frankenstein! Anyways account differs on what happen on this one fair night in April 2019. One version has it that after a argument he killed his girlfriend with a knife and then fled to Hong Kong. I’m sorry to tell you people, that version is CENSORED. For you see The CORRECT VERSION is that this Frakenstein of a man had a MASSIVE DICK, and his girlfriend couldn’t take this dick as it penetrated her all the way through. The knife was censor for the dick you see for Taiwanese police still can’t believe that a man would pack that much heat, much less a man of Asian blood (HA, check us foreign asians BITCH).

Anyways what both version agree on is that he fled to Hong Kong. This creates a huge problem since Hong Kong had NO EXTRADITION process in place for Taiwan. Meaning that theorectically if Taiwan requested a return of the Tong Kai for trial in the Taiwanese courts, Hong Kong couldn’t do that (well you could just fly him back….) because they had no process in place. So the government of Hong Kong set down to remedy that problem and to amend the extradition laws (that create the process to extradite/kick criminals to their country where they committ their crimes). Those previous extradition laws somehow didn’t include Taiwan or more importantly, China! It’s like Hong Kong government toss it to a drunk guy or gal to make those laws in the begining or some shiz. How can you forget CHINA??? Taiwan, ok fine?? But CHINA??? Ok ok, to be fair China was probably left out on purpose because political dissents being chased by the Chinese police would flee to Hong Kong (where Chinese police theorectically can’t enter). Also Hong Kong was given to Britain during the century of humiliation and Britain probably never got around to making a law to extradite criminals to China.

The pro-Beijing faction (which is the leading party in power. Chief Executive Carrie Lamb) though seized on this “excuse” to make a process for CHINA. They completely toss the process for Taiwan out of the table because making a process for Taiwan would be harder and maybe impossible (first question: is Taiwan able to make a formal request because are they even a country dawg?). Well to be honest, Taiwan was not going to pursue the case anyways.

Well China is a sticky subject, politcally, for most Hong Kong people. Theorectically, they have always view themselves as Han Chinese (suprise!) but they always have liked their autonomy and really really do not like it when China intervenes. Sounds like a bunch of liberty loving western SCUM to me. For example back in 2014, China tried to intervene in Hong Kong governmental election openly. Hong King Kongers would have NONE OF IT, and started a massive protests in which many students showed up. This event was called the “Umbrella Movement” and it was a collossal…. FAILURE. One thing that China did learn was that they should interfere quietly and not loudly (much like Russia to the US) even if there were massive troves of evidence, as long as China did it quietly it would always be “NO COLLUSION”. Anyways as the Umbrella Movement protestors went home once their demands of free elections were promised, China just went ahead intervene anyways, placing the pro-Beijing faction in power quietly.

2) Hong King Kong SMASH!!!!

Photo Credits: South China Morning Post-Edmond So

Well well well did the majority of Hong Kong did NOT like the law. They saw it as a power grab from China masquerading as a move BY THE Hong Kong people. At first the protest was small when the bill was first propose and nobody in Hong Kong thought that it would ACTUALLY be passed. Yeah that’s what I think too when my professor told me there would be a test the instant we first meet cause they can’t ACTUALLY BE SERIOUS. I mean I haven’t even met Professor Whatchumacallit how can he jawn on my and everybody else summer vacation?? Well Hong King Kongers learn very swiftly that “this bill is for real” but unlike me who was absolutely FUCKED on the first day of school, the Hong King Kong began to mobilize and come out to protest. Police easily shut the first few protest down but as soon as law activists and former law makers came out to say “yo if this bill past, we FUCKED! YOU WANNA BE FUCKED LIKE HOW COOLGUY1234 WAS AND NOW WONDERING IF HE CAN RECOVER TO GET AN A?”

Then Protestors became more rowdy and more numerous in numbers. They began to strike back at Police tear gas like putting up barricades or use… ahem Umbrellas. They began to march on to government buildings, their freedom guns loaded with eggs. Government fights also broke out as instead of hands reaching across the aisle in a sign of coporation, clench fists were exchanged instead. It does not help the fact that Chief Executive Carrie Lamb keep emphasizing how she was the voice of reason, and being PAINED how her “children” were wildin. Yeah that didn’t sit well with the “children” so they explode even more in anger. Eventually after some heated governmental debates and even more protests, Chief Executive Carrie Lamb decided to suspend the bill for the time being. When prodded by the protestors “does this mean we won’t be fucked ever now?” Carrie Lamb reply with a not really pleasant “well….. so you see”. That really ticked off Hong King Kong even more as protests flared up yet again as Carrie Lamb refusal to withdraw the bill completely and maybe forever. Now it is important to note that Carrie Lamb actually DID THAT.

Me: Awwww what a cute ending check time stamp
Me: OH SHIT WHY IS THERE 60 MINUTES STILL REMAINING?

That brings up the topic of “The Five Demands”. Basically the short version of if you give a mouse a cookie he would ask for some milk…..

1. Withdraw The Bill
2. Independent Enquiry into Police actions
3. HEY SHUT UP ABOUT SAYING JUNE 12th WAS A RIOT!
4. Drop ALL charges against Protestors
5. Introduce Genuine Universal Suffrage (even though Hong Kong technically does have it, China can always manipulate behind the scene)

As of now, only one of those demands had been fulfilled, the bill is withdrawn and is completely wiped off the table for any future discussions. The other demands though, not so much like number #2 and #4. Look I would hate to be the devil advocate here, in no way am I saying that what the police did was right or saying I “hate freedom”, but I would say that both protestors and the police did some wrong too.

As I understand those #2 and #4, it basically shifts the blame to being ALL police and none protestors. Basically the protestor seems to want accountability towards the police for beating them, yet they don’t want to seem accountability towards themselves. Look it’s easy to sympathize with the protestors when all the images that you have got is from CNN/NY Times/TheHill/Twitter opting out for the most gruesome of images showing an innocent protestor bleeding out after police beat him/her up.

It’s isn’t like the protestors took all of this lying down, they have swung the bat themselves on multiple occassions. Like beating up an unarm foreigner just because they thought he was a Chinese agent. The victim did turn out to be a chinese news reporter but beating up individuals regardless espcially where they didn’t cause any harm is a criminal case of battery. Not only that back in August, the protestors shut down Hong Kong’s busiest international airport basically stranding thousands of passengers. Now in retrospect if you are not in the situation, you can say what the protestor did was reasonable cause they are clearly trying to get international coverage on this matter to turn the tide towards them. But imagine if you were one of many thousands passengers that was supposed to board your plane, yeah you wouldn’t be too happy for being roped unfairly into the situation. I have seen many people loose it at the airport when their flight is delay, and I have seen just as many people flaming American Airlines for being just a bit late. Now getting your flight cancel and getting a hotel voucher for the night is pretty sweet but ain’t no way that the airport was able to hand out hotel vouchers to thousands of passengers. Now spending a night at a crowded airport with people screaming and police beating up people left and right and then regretting your life decisions leading you to be in this situation is bad enough, imagine you had to report/ask for funding from top officials and business executives, yeah they ain’t taking “protestors literally PARALYZE THE AIRPORT” as an excuse.

There are many times where protestors did get rowdy too even though officers did nothing. Yes even though police might have provoked it first, by crushing the peaceful protest with force at the dawn of the movement in June, that doesn’t mean the protestors get the free pass to hit back. As we all learn in first grade, just because the bully swung a left hook at us doesn’t mean you get to left hook back. You are suppose to tell the teacher! I swung back once and ended up sitting in the principal office for the rest of the day just like the bully. Sure he might have got punished more than me cause my situation was understandable, but that didn’t mean I did not face some punishment myself (i.e. missing class). Yes that’s right please take it up with my first grade teacher if you want to beat me up, because it’s not MY FAULT for being INDOCTRINATED into this view.

Now I totally understand that a movement like this needs international sympathy to work so of course it is desirable to hide away the images of protestors wilding. Even though I think some protestors should be held accountable, in no way do I want to shut down the movement, I think it is very good. And we all know the government ain’t going to do anything unless pressure to also on the world stage. Just take a look at the Civil Rights movement, it looks very bad for US being “haven of freedom” in a Cold War era and have pictures (since media loves only sensalize things) of police spraying hoses at peaceful protestors with their arms behind their heads. But it seems like most Hong Kongers are in this echo chamber seeing themselves as ALL RIGHT and the other side as ALL WRONG. Just take this twitter poll (with over 139K data points/votes), hey hey in my defense the account is verified!

24 hour poll:

Is withdrawing the extradition bill by itself enough to satisfy you? Choose “yes” if so. If you’re willing to possibly compromise on 2-4 choose “no”. If you will settle for only all 5 choose the final option.

Show results option for those with no skin in the game.

— Hong Kong Hermit (@HongKongHermit) September 4, 2019

Wow show results option for those with no skin in the game? Wow, that seems to be almost racist. It’s like Malcolm X holding a twitter poll “you fine with us beating up police? Show results for them crackers with nothing in the game”. FYI, he would later regret that he turned away white people who genuinely wanted to help in his autobiography. Anyways, so basically wow 82%?? That’s a number I can’t even comprehend cause there’s this governemnt body over here of like 435 people and this other government body of like 50 people, yeah they can barely get 50% and out there nuking each other over twitter instead of compromising and getting stuff done. So basically a heavy majority of people think the police did everything and the protestors are just innocent sheeps.

3) Police SMASH HONG KING KONG

Photo Credit: CNN

This section is relatively short. Basically the police have been carrying out the government wishes, canning protestors where necessary but sometimes do see themselves on the defensive. I sympathize with them a little less cause yeah you did canned people when the movement was relatively peaceful. Now though, Hong Kong police are facing increase pressure from the protestors and the situation is probably out of their control now. This is why China have send some of its own loyal-party-loving force to do the beating instead. As in the great words of Confucious, “beat these PEASANTS into the hierarchy of submission!”

4) Asian (more specifically KPop) Idols bottoming for China

This is actually a new development that has been happening. Sadly now that KPop is pan-asia, they usually have members hailing from China because duh….. Most asians are Chinese and Indian just by purely population alone but we don’t talk about Indians in regard to KPop because they are too dark (yeah that’s right, we asians are a bunch of racist sorry! Espcially the older generation). That’s a huge problem, since China, even all the while corporating with other asian countries, view themselves as the boss and that if they want something THEY GET THAT THING. At this point China is basically Ariana Grande in “7 Rings”.

Anywho all Chinese idols you can think off has came out and supported a One China Policy. The One China Policy is basically China being insecure and reiterating “you know we still own you right” to autonomous regions such as Hong Kong and Macau and the pseudo-country Taiwan. Name one, they done it! EXO’s Lay? Of course! He totally got laid by China, he even support the Hong Kong police beating up people! Not only that, Lay is known to cancel businesses for not supporting One China like Samsung. At this point I declare that I will never eat a Pizza Hut pizza because Lay clearly model for them a while back….

which means Pizza Hut support One China. No matter, Papa John’s and Ledo’s make a meaner pizza anyways. Now let us see hmmmm f(x)’s Victoria? OF COURSE, she even took the extra step of voicing vocal support for Chinese Police in canning innocent people!! Wow lady, that’s one woman who wants to be dominated. Got7’s Jackson? Nothing say losing your Hong Kong roots like JYP having to cancel the Got7 concert in Hong Kong due to Jackson wildin activities. GIDLE’s Yuqi? Why of course we all know she hates her bandmate Shuhua! IOI’s/PRISTIN Kyulkyung? Why would you think she wouldn’t!!! NCT’s WinWin and Lucas? Now you got more reason to hate NCT! Lucas is Hong Kong too!! That chinese member from WSJN and Wanna One? Why of course!! At this point I am SURPRISE that IZONE’s Wonyoung or freaking EVERGLOW Yiren hasn’t said any shit.

The people who retweeted that are IOI’s Kyulkyung, f(x)’s Victoria, EXO’s Lay, Gugudan’s Sally, and Wanna One’s Lai Guanlin. That’s right folks, for you saesangs out there, these selected few idols WANT YOU TO GET ALL HANDSY WITH THEM. While you are at it saesangs, the female idols that have retweeted that would LOVE TO GET KINKY WITH THE ROD if you happen to have one on hand ;). Ahem this site official stance is that no YOU DO NOT HAVE CONSENT, please stop following people like a creep, and no sexual assault is NOT COOL.

Now of course you may say, “China totally force the idols to say something it’s not their fault!” to that I say, highly unlikely to be frank with you guys. I have a gut feeling that all these idols that say it, it is because they want to stay relevant in China. I don’t think China requires it, but of course they would welcome the statement. Like imagine right now, you are fine going day to day. All the sudden, EARLY CHRISTMAS TIME, boxes of present containing what you always desire drop down from nowhere in the sky. You wouldn’t necessary give it up, and maybe it would even make you religious again thanking god for the gifts you AETHIST SINNERS ( 😉 )! I don’t think China actively force idols to say something because they could care less (as long of course as you DON’T SAY THE OPPOSITE THINGS like “HONG KONG INDEPENDENCE”). I am pretty sure this is the idols own free will. The only thing I can possibly use to defend these idols is that they want to stay relevant, they want to suceed in China they want to make money in China when their idol careers come to a close. I bet all of them could care less about where Taiwan goes on the map or Hong Kong belongs to who and if saying it please Chinese fans and get them more famous, then it is a win win. Why Not?! If I take that viewpoint, I guess it’s a little understandable. I mean everybody loves money! Still selling out your “country” or “territory” of origin for some street creds? That’s not cool bro espcially since it isn’t REQUIRED (Tzuyu didn’t say jack shit, as aformentioned Yiren haven’t said anything)

What I can’t stand, and maybe this is just me, is the fact that some of those idols “betray” their groups just for what it seems like personal glory and fame. I am talking specifically about Victoria and Yuqi like what the fuck. Now given I don’t think Shuhua is a patriot or Amber is a revolutionary in Taiwan, but I would want to bet that either of them likes the fact that one of their bandmates just went ahead and invalidated their culture. I am in a group with people that were born in the US and their parents are actually from Hong Kong/Taiwan. Normally they care about two cents and all they want to do is watch dramas and chill but recently I decided to become “pro-China” and “pro-Hong Kong police” just to see how they feel. In short, they did not take it lightly and ended up almost kicking me out of the group even though I was only joking.

Now I know in Eastern Culture, being faithful to your country is the number one thing, as the saying goes “country over family”. But when it isn’t explicitly required, none of the Hong Kongers 5 demands say “Hong Kong idols need to clarify their stance!”, why do you gotta do your groupmate or your own people like that?
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